The Space Between the Couch
by DjinckzednaiLpoLish
Summary: Harry is in the Gryffindor common room, and falls in between the couch cushions. Magically, a bunch of other...Students/non-students appear! WARNING: This is R for a *reason*. Slash! Het! You've been warned.


Disclaimer-We are *not* J.K. Rowling. All characters belong to her genius mind. This is made to be HUUUUUMOR! If you can't take that, don't read. Also, don't read if you are grossed out by mass orgies, involving slash. So blah blah blah...So everything is J.K.R.'s except the scenario. got it? K. Enjoy n_n  
uPart One/u  
It was the night before Christmas, and all through Hogwarts, not a creature was stirring, not even a house elf! Harry was a shallow little bitch who only liked girls that he thought were pretty. He didn't know the meaning of personality. Not until he joined the house of Slytherin just before he decided he should be a power ranger! As a power ranger, he could have the power of three chocolate frogs, which isn't that much strength. In short, he was a weakling! Harry thought that everyone loved him, even though everyone thought he was a conceited prick. One day, Harry was jerking off in the common room, and he fell into the giant hole in the middle of the couch.   
"Help!" Harry screamed with fright, hand still clutching his dick.   
At the bottom of the dark and large hole, Harry said, "Wow. It's dark here."  
Suddenly, Hagrid appeared, and said to Harry, "You're a dickhead. No one likes you, not even Ron and he's screwing your: girlfriend. You suck."Then, Hagrid walked away, only to be chased by several small, ravenous squirrel-eating spiders.  
uPart Two/u  
Harry, being the stupid little' bitch that he was, decided to just leave Hagrid there. Hagrid, who was being eaten by squirrel-eating spiders, screamed "Help me, Harry, you git!" Harry kept walking away. Then, Hermione came. She said, "What's wrong with you, you prick? Can't you see he's being eaten?!" Hermione ran towards the chewed on Hagrid, not waiting for a response. Soon, Hermione started beating the squirrel-eating spiders with her boo-tay! "I'll sit on all your heads! Harry, help me!" she cried. Harry was too busy jacking off to a picture of Draco. "Oooh!" he moaned. Hermione stared blankly at his small dick. She couldn't take her eyes off the extreme smallness of it. Then, Ron showed Hermione *his* dick. "Wow," she gasped. "It's so biiiiiig!" Ron blushed. "You really like me! Do you want to go fuck?" Hermione squealed with delight. "I'd fuck you any day!" They happily fucked while Harry was now being chewed on by squirrel-eating spiders. Getting turned on by a spider, Harry started thrusting himself at Hagrid's dead corpse. Then...Draco appeared! Harry immediately turned bright red, and flung himself on Draco. Draco smiled. "You're gay, too?" Harry nodded happily. "Then join me!" Harry and Draco started making out, and groping each other. "Oooh, Harry!" Draco moaned.  
uPart Three/u  
Fred and George then magically appeared. "What the fuck are you guys doing down here? George said, staring at Harry's small dick, that Draco was giving a blow job to. "Uh… We're just… er… fucking around!" Draco said, spitting out some of Harry's icky cum. "Want to join us?" Hermione offered. "Sure!" exclaimed Fred and George. Percy then appeared with Mrs. Weasley, looking extremely disturbed. Mrs. Weasley screamed and jumped on top of Ron, who was busy groping his brothers and Hermione started beating him with her large boo-tay (Hermione style). Ron, being squished by his mother's extremely large boo-tay, died of the trauma of it. Hermione shrieked, because Ron's cold, dead tongue was on her boo-tay. She ran away, forgetting that Harry had tied himself to her leg. She screamed and slapped him hard on his ear. "Get off me, you millimeter peter-ed bitch!" She then kept running until Draco tackled her and ate her. Dobby appeared on a small floating Jhonen Vasquez cut-out. "I'm sitting on the sex-ayest man alive! Whoo hoo!" Dobby then flew and landed on Mrs. Weasley. "Do you think I'm sex-ay?" Dobby asked. "No, I think you're lickable though!" Dobby frowned. "But wouldn't that make Harry more sex-ay than me?" Dobby's eyes started tearing. He then smashed a beer bottle up Harry's ass.   
uPart Four/u  
Harry didn't seem affected by the bottle up his ass. Then, Cho appeared. "Eeew! What the hell is going on here?" Cho asked, disgusted. "And why do you have a bottle up your ass?" She then saw Mrs. Weasley and started groping her immediately. Harry shrieked, and stabbed at her, but ended up stabbing Draco in the foot. Draco screamed, "Harry! What the hell do you think you're doing? Don't you love me?" Draco cried. But then Cho had already begun fucking Draco maddly! Harry started crying because Cho didn't like him, but he now wanted Mrs. Weasley instead. Mrs. Weasley growled at Harry. "Hey baby... Wanna go fuck? Raawr. Raaaaaawr." Harry was turned on instantly. "Sure!" He then jumped on top of her, ripping off her shirt and painting her bra with his tongue. Dobby then smacked Mrs. Weasley. "Pedophile! You should screw men with real British accents! Harry started crying again. Cho stopped fucking Draco and looked at Dobby. "Rawr. You have sexeh ears!" and started to take off Dobby's tea cloth-thing. Underneath, he wore a cracker jack patterned g string. "Kinky," Draco exclaimed. Draco flung himself on top of Dobby. Cho screamed, "GET OFF MY FUCK BUDDY, YOU STUPID LITTLE PRICK!" She threw a shoe at him and draco passed out while fucking Dobby. Cho then ripped Draco's dick off and ate an apple pie. Draco bled to death, and Dobby was now being traumatized by Cho, who was raping him violently. "I want to fuck you like an animal! I want to feel you from the inside!" Cho grinned evilly down at poor Dobby. Dobby's already large eyes got even larger than ever. Harry was getting extremely jealous of Cho. He wanted to be Dobby's fuck buddy. Mrs. Weasley was now molesting her two sons. They were disgusted, and pushed themselves away from her. Percy stepped in front of his mom and thrusted himself at Ron's dead corpse. He then started spinning around in a circle, dosey-doe-ing to the Cotton-Eye-Joe! Cho then joined him in his dosey-doe-ing! Soon, everyone was doing the cotton-eye-joe! The dead people were too! Everyone was happy! Except Harry, because he still had no dick at all. Aw. Sucks to be him. Not literally, though! 


End file.
